Skyscraper
by Lightweight-Skyscraper
Summary: Mariah was always one of the boys. Short hair and boyish clothes. But, after the boys left, she changed. She looks like a totally different person. When the boys come back, how will they react to Mariah becoming more womanlike? Pairing undecided. Open to vote! T for bullying, depression and talk of self harm. Used to be One Of The Boys
1. Chapter 1

I was always one of the boys when those hockey heads were around. I had _really _short, black hair. I was pale with bright blue eyes. The only thing I really wore was hoddies, sweats and Nikes. I might as well been a dude and I was sure in their eyes, I pretty much was.

But, I did have a _huge _crush on James. Well, what girl in Minnesota didn't? I knew that he didn't even think of me that way. No guy did. They all thought I was too boyish. Never was I treated as a girl and it never bothered me.

I also thought Kendall was cute. He always knew how to cheer me up and make me smile when everything was going wrong for me. He was probably the one I was closest on a serious level.

Carlos really sweet. He would always do crazy things with me. Carlos was also the one to always make sure I knew how pretty I was even though I never believed him.

And Logan was like my twin at times. We were both the smarter two of the group. I was the only person in the group that understood most of the stuff Logan was talking about.

After the boys left for LA, I had to hang out with others besides them. And sometime between Freshmen year and Senior year, my appearance changed a lot.

One thing I never expected was, them coming back.

Another Monday, I groaned as I got out of bed and started getting ready. I brushed out my long black hair and pinned my backs back. Then I changed into a loose button up shirt, black belt around the waist, black jeans and flats.

After I grabbed a soda and biscuit, I was off to school.

It was pretty warm since it was late May. It was also the end of Senior year, graduation being on Saturday. Now all we were doing was preparing.

"Mariah!"

As I got out of my Camry, I was nearly knocked over by Melissa Hayes, one of my good friends.

"Hey Liss. What's going on to get you so excited?" I asked before sipping some of my Dr. Pepper.

"Those Big Time Rush boys of yours are coming here to visit!"

Lissa was lucky she moved. Because, if she didn't, my drink would have been all over her shirt. "What? When?"

She smiled. "Later today." Lissa quickly noticed my nervousness. "C'mon, what's wrong?"

"Other than the fact I haven't seen them since Freshmen year?"

"Okay, so you changed a little-" I gestured to my hair. "Okay, a lot. But, you're still the same Mariah Monroe."

That did calm me some but, not enough. "Yeah, lets get inside."

Liss and me were very close. After the boys left, she was nice to me and the closer we got. Melissa was really pretty. She had long dirty blond hair, amber brown eyes and she was pretty athletic.

"Mar, they are gonna faint when they see you."

"Is that a good or bad thing?" I asked a nervous edge to my voice.

"It's a _very _good thing. Face it girl, you are gorgeous."

I sent her a slight smile. "Thanks Liss."

The day passed slowly after we finally finished Senior pictures, it was time for lunch. Everyone was talking about the guys, mostly Kendall and James.

"Hey, Lissa, do you want some?" I asked while pointing at my Lo Mien with my chop sticks.

She made a weird face and shook her head no. "How do you always seem to bring some exotic food?"

School was soon over and I was driving home while deep in thought. How would the boys react to my new appearance? Would they not recognize me? I was the same Mariah, just more girly. I wasn't ready for their reactions. But, there was a part of me that was extremely excited to see my old best friends.

I'll have a few more days to get ready for this. Or that's what I thought.


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay I'm going to make this a more realistic story. To warn all of you readers, there will be talk of depression, self harm (not into a ton of detail) and abandonment. **

**Votes: **

**James-1**

**Kendall-0**

* * *

A lot happened after the boys left. It was like life hated me. First, my only friends left for California to follow their dreams. I was extremely happy for them but, I didn't know what I would do without them.

Two weeks after that, my mom left us. She didn't even say sorry, just got up and left. This pushed me even deeper into this depressed state I was in. I blamed myself for her leaving. Maybe if I was a better daughter, she would of stayed. If I wasn't so sad all the time, she'd be here.

School was a whole different problem. Without having the boys at my side, I really had no friends. They were always the one to stop people from messing with me. But, they weren't there anymore. So, I was subjected to bullying. Name calling, physical assaults, and harassment. My dad didn't know what to do to help. He went up to the school and tried to get it to stop. It didn't.

I fell deeper into the dark place I was in. Before, I could get right out of the bed in the mornings, now I never wanted to.

One night, I did the one thing I will always regret. I had always thought down on it. Why on earth would someone hurt themselves? It made no sense to me. That is, until now. I felt that having that release would help me feel better and it did. Too bad it was only temporary.

I had only been doing it for a month when this girl that just befriended me, Melissa Hayes, noticed one of my cuts. She quickly told my dad, ignoring my pleas for her to keep it secret. I'm glad she didn't.

As far as the school knew, I was home schooling. Not at a local rehab. I was there for all of tenth grade and most of eleventh. It really helped me. I learned to just move on with my life. My mom left and doing this wasn't helping anyone. The boys were probably never coming back and I just needed to realize that. I was put on depression medication and it helped a lot.

I changed a lot in rehab. My short black hair grew long and wavy, my dull blue eyes brightened and I curved out. Dad and Lissa visited me as much as possible. I somehow kept my grades up high even while going to school in a rehab.

But, now that I know they are actually coming back. I don't know how to feel. So much has changed since freshmen year and I knew one of them would pick up on it. There were still few slight scars on my arms. Even though, I always had them covered with make up, I have a feeling one of them will notice.

Sighing, I got up and started to get ready.

I changed into a dark peach button up blouse, black jeggings, and black wedges. The night before, I painted my nails to match my shirt. For accessories, I used black feather earrings and a black watch. My hair was pulled into a side ponytail. After adding some eyeliner, brown eye shadow, and make up on my arms I was done. On my way out, I grabbed my black handbag.

"Mariah! Did you take your meds?"

I turned to my dad and frowned. "I almost forgot. Thanks dad."

He nodded as I walked into the kitchen. "Its what I'm here for, kiddo. Have a good day." He kissed my forehead before leaving for work.

I wasn't expecting much today. Just a simple graduation practice then Lissa and me could go out to eat and shopping. But, when I got out of the car, I heard a familiar voice. It was Carlos.


	3. Chapter 3

They were here. Right now.

I had no idea what the hell I was suppose to do. Do I just walk up to them and act like everything is like it used to be? Would they even recognize me?

I found myself looking my wrist looking for any signs of my scars. The boys could not know about what happened. They would blame their selves and I didn't want that.

"Mariah!"

I froze as I saw Lissa and the guys walking over. Then started messing with my hair and clothes. Nervousness was running on high. Its been a long time since I've seen them. What was I suppose to say? I'm not exactly the same person I used to be.

There wasn't any more time left to think this over. They were all standing in front of me looking extremely confused. Lissa was grinning ear to ear. She knew this would happen.

Carlos scratched the back of his head. "Are you sure this is Mariah?"

James nodded from beside him. "Yeah, she's not wearing a hoodie or sweats. And her hear is really long."

"I stopped wearing those and grew my hair out." I told them while crossing my arms. "I'm still Mariah Monroe."

"We don't mean anything by it." Kendall started telling me. "You just changed a lot."

"I know." It was much more than they think. They don't know what all that has happened and I can't keep all of this away from them. Not if they are going to stay for a while.

Unlike me, they haven't changed at all. James was still the pretty boy but, his hair was a bit shorter. Carlos looked exactly the same, even had his helmet in his grip. Logan got a bit taller. Kendall still wore plaid and beanies.

I changed more than all of them put together. "I thought you guys weren't coming until graduation. That's what Lissa told me."

"That was the original plan." Logan told us. "Until we annoyed Gustavo so much about it, he let us come early."

"That sounds like you." I smiled slightly then realized that Lissa and me needed to get to practice. "Lissa, we should get to the gym before we're late."

She nodded. "You guys can wait on the bleachers. I'm sure they wont mind."

Sadly, Lissa and me weren't sitting anywhere near each other. One of our teachers were showing everyone where to sit. Now, I saw between one guy that was really nice to me and a girl that was one of my bullies. I talked to Noah and ignored her.

"Are you excited?" He asked with a lopsided grin.

I grinned. "Of course I am! I'm just nervous."

Noah put his arm around my shoulder. "You'll be fine! Plus, you have High Honors!" He soon followed my gaze to the boys. "How do you feel about them being back?"

I sighed. "I'm not sure. I should be happy but, after all that's happened.. How am I suppose to tell them? How will they react?"

"Mariah, you are one of their friends. They'll be there for you no matter what. I mean, they came all this way to see you graduate."

Noah had a point. I was just afraid. They would be the first people I told. Noah knew because he saw the scars by accident. He was always at my side when someone tried to tear me back down. Noah always told me to not be ashamed. I got better and that's all that matters.

Lissa, my dad, and him were the people who kept me on my feet.


	4. Chapter 4

**Votes! James: 2 **

**Kendall: 0 **

**I may change the Title to Skyscraper.**

* * *

I gathered all of the guys at my house.

After that talk with Noah, I decided it would be best to just tell them what happened. I rather it come from me than some stranger. Lissa was with us and sitting beside me for comfort. My dad wasn't home from work yet since it was only around twelve. I wish he was.

The boys seemed nervous. I don't know why. All I said is we needed to get caught up on things. Maybe they could feel me being scared or maybe it was the way I said it.

_They are my friends_, I reminded myself. _They deserve to know. _

I wish things were like the used to be. Even me still being extra boyish. Everything was so much easier back then. My mom was still here. I was happy with everything and I had my best friends. I wasn't worried about people finding out my secret everyday. Days were filled with laughs, not paranoia. The thing I worried about most was my crushes on James and Kendall. Why did things have to take that deadly turn?

Lissa grabbed my hand. "You don't have to do this. Not if you don't want to."

All the guys were looking at me confused from the couch. Lissa and me were on the love seat. She wasn't sure if this was a good idea, it was too soon. Plus, she didn't like me being upset.

Taking a deep breath, I looked up to look at all of them and tried to calm myself down. I was actually shaking. My hands were holding onto a pillow that sat in my lap to try to calm down.

"Um.. I.. When you guys left, I was kind of on my own. Then my mom left and has never came back." Old emotions were starting to come back as I struggled with words. "I just got depressed and did really stupid things." My eyes fell to my knees and my hands started shaking more.

"Mar, what are you trying to say?" James asked with a shaky voice.

I think they knew what I was about to say. My eyes stayed on my knees as I started telling them the truth. At least, the best way I could.

"I.. it left scars. Lissa found out and told my dad. So.. Then I had to go to Rehab for a couple of years. I'm okay now. I really am. I just thought.. That I'd tell you."

I looked up moments later to find James grabbing both of my still shaking hands and looking at my wrists, making the pillow hit the ground.

When he didn't see anything since the make up was still covering it. He ran this thumbs over them and felt the scars. Before I could realize what he was doing, he threw his arms around my waist pulling me to the edge of the couch.

James had his head placed against my stomach as he hugged me. "I am _so_ sorry." His voice was shaking even worse than before.

I looked over at the others to find that they were at the verge of tears too. "I didn't mean for all of you to cry. I'm okay."


	5. Chapter 5

The today was graduation.

After telling the boys, yesterday, I felt really bad. I made James cry. Then Carlos wouldn't stop hugging me for almost an hour. But, that's not what worried me, it was that Logan and Kendall didn't say a word. They just sat there with a sad expression on their faces.

I was wearing a dark blue tight fitted, strapless sweetheart neckline, dress. It stopped right above my knees. Lissa let me borrow some of her expensive black pumps. For accessories, I wore black feather earrings and a long sliver necklace. My nails had a French manicure, eyes surrounded in black eyeliner, and lips covered with red lipstick. Hair was in long curls.

My dad smiled as I walked down the stairs. His black hair was just recently cut and his blue eyes were shinning. He was wearing a button up shirt and slacks. "You look beautiful, Mariah."

I smiled back. "Thank you, dad." I replied with a kiss on a cheek.

"You have no idea how proud of you I am. Even though you went through all of that stuff, you still graduated with honors. You are turning out to be an amazing woman." He grinned.

"Aw, dad, you're gonna make me cry." I smiled while blinking away a few happy tears.

He smiled slightly then pulled me into a hug. "I love you so much."

A knock on the door cut our sweet moment short.

My dad gazed over at the door. "I'm sure that's for you." He kissed my forehead. "I'll see you at the graduation."

I opened the door to find James standing there with a box In his hand.

"Hey. What are you doing here so early? Don't you need your beauty rest?" I joked with a small smile as I stepped outside.

He smiled back slightly but, seemed really serious. That was odd for James. "I just wanted to talk to you before your graduation."

"What is it?" I asked searching his expression.

His eyes fell and he started looking at my feet. "I was going to wait to tell you this. But, we have to go back to LA soon and I don't know when I'll see you again. So, I'm just going to tell you now." He looked back at me and made eye contact. James' eyes were filled with emotions. His hand now held mine. "Mar, I like you a lot. I've always liked you. You've been through a lot and I'd understand if you didn't feel the same.. I just had to tell you-"

I quickly cut him off with a kiss. My arms wrapped around his neck and he pulled me closer, leaving his arms around my waist. "Of course I feel the same, James."


End file.
